Author Archives: Misterkristoff

About Misterkristoff

New York Times and Internationally Bestselling SciFi/Fantasy author, and master of drunken karaoke-fu.

LIFEL1K3 pitch

Hello writer droogs,

I often get asked if things get easier once you’re published, and if selling one book makes it easier to sell the next. Truth is, the answer is “yes and no”. Authors still need to pitch their next book to their publisher and hope that it sells, and unless their first name is “Stephen” and their last name is “King”, there’s a chance it won’t.

This means you need to pimp your book, just like you did when you were first trying to find an agent. It usually means writing some kind of pitch or synopsis. So for those of you in query letter hell right now, here’s the pitch I wrote to sell LIFEL1K3 to Random House:

On a floating junkyard beneath a radiation sky, a deadly secret lies buried in the scrap.

Seventeen-year-old Eve isn’t looking for secrets—she’s too busy looking over her shoulder. The robot gladiator she’s just spent six months building has been reduced to a smoking wreck, and the only thing keeping her Grandpa from the grave was the fistful of credits she just lost to the bookies. To top it off, she’s discovered she can destroy electronics with the power of her mind, and the puritanical Brotherhood are building a coffin her size. If she’s ever had a worse day, Eve can’t remember it.

Problem is, she has had a worse day—one that lingers in her nightmares and the cybernetic implant where her memories used to be. Her discovery of a ruined android in the scrap pile she calls home will bring her world crashing down, and have her questioning whether her entire life is a lie. With her best friend Lemon Fresh and her robotic conscience, Cricket, in tow, she’ll trek across deserts of irradiated glass, infiltrate towering megacities and scour the graveyard of humanity’s greatest folly to save the ones she loves, and learn the dark secrets of her past.

Even if those secrets were better off staying buried.

LIFEL1K3 is an 90,000 word YA post-apocalypse cyberpunk adventure. It’s Romeo and Juliet meets Mad Max meets X-Men, with a little bit of Bladerunner cheering from the sidelines.

Pretty much the same thing as a query letter, right? Never fear that those querying skillz you’re developing now will go to waste. You’re gonna be using them your whole career. 🙂

Keep writing.


GODSGRAVE B&N special edition

Hello droogs,

Exciting news! I have all the details about our special edition of GODSGRAVE, which will be available only through the fantabulous folks at Barnes and Noble.

This object of purest beauty will include:

  • Full color endpapers, featuring exclusive artwork by my amazing US cover artist, Jason Chan.
  • An exclusive chapter – this was the original first chapter of GODSGRAVE, but over the course of writing the novel, I found it didn’t fit anymore so I had to cut it. This was a true case of killing your darlings, so I’m chuffed you guys will actually get to read it.
  • Plus, EVERY copy will be signed by yours truly.

The B&N special edition of GODSGRAVE is also currently 33% off. Zounds!

You can pre-order the awesome here.

I’m so proud of this books, folks. Can’t wait for you to read it 😀

 

 


OBSIDIO Casualty List Contest

THIS CONTEST IS OPEN INTERNATIONALLY.

Droogs!

The time has come! The title is here! The hour of your death is nigh!

As ILLUMINAE FILES fans will know, we ran a competition last year, giving readers the opportunity to get their names listed among the dead in GEMINA. Well, we’re doing it again with OBSIDIO! Hurrah for murder! What in god’s name is wrong with you people?

In fact, we’re running the biggest deathlist competition the series has ever seen! So now you, your family members, your pets (I’m joking, we’re not killing your pets) have the opportunity to be horribly slaughtered in final book of the series.

So, if you would like the chance to suffer a particularly painful death in the cold belly of space, read on.

REPEAT: THIS CONTEST IS OPEN TO EVERYONE. BRITONS. AUSTRALIANS. AMERICANS. MARTIANS. WE GIVE NO TOSSES ABOUT WHERE YOU ARE FROM.

Things you must do to win this contest:

  1. Pre-order a copy of OBSIDIO. It does not matter where you do this. Online. Local bookstore. Seedy back alley. Yes, we’re aware some sites don’t have pre-order buttons up yet, just be patient. 🙂 

    USA
    Barnes and Noble
    Amazon  [yes we know the HB isn’t up there yet 😦 ]
    Book Depository
    Indibound
    Powells

    UK

    Amazon
    Waterstones 

    Australia
    Booktopia
    Dymocks
    Readings

  2. Send proof of purchase (scan, photograph) to: theilluminaefiles@gmail.com.The next step is VERY IMPORTANT
  3. Along with your proof of purchase you must provide:
    a) Your name. Not a twitter handle. Not a cute nickname. Not a forum avi.
    First name.
    Surname.
    Done.
    b) You must also include the following declaration within the body of your email:

My name is [insert your name here]. I confirm I am freely agreeing to the use of my name in the series The Illuminae Files. This permission is for all rights and uses, in perpetuity, and I agree I will receive no compensation for the use of my name. I agree the authors and publishers are not obligated to make any corrections or changes to my name in reprints.

The really, really important bit:

YOU MUST DO THIS BY NOON, PACIFIC STANDARD TIME, MAY 1, 2017.

That gives you three weeks to save up, rob a liquor store or concoct a complicated confidence scheme in order to get the cash for the pre-order.

We’re kidding. Don’t rob anyone. Ask for it as a birthday present or something, I dunno.

HOT DAMN, CHUMS, IT’S THE BONUS ROUND

As an added incentive, if you spread the word about this contest, you go into the running to win loot. Just tweet or FB the following:

Want to get your name on the #OBSIDIO casualty list? Make with the clickies. THIS CONTEST IS OPEN INTERNATIONALLY:

jaykristoff.com

You can also include this dandy graphic if you feel the need:

By doing so, you go into the running to win a signed copies of the ILLUMINAE and GEMINA audiobooks. Behold:

Yes, they’ll be signed. Relax.

That’s it! Thanks in advance to all you beautiful people who spread the word!

J&A


GODSGRAVE desktops

Hello Droogs,

Like always, I’m putting out some GODSGRAVE desktop images in case you folks wanted to decorate your phones or tablets with the sheer badassery that is this cover. I’m also including the original Jason Chan artwork without Meg Morely’s 100% metal typography, just in case your life is 100% metal already.

You can pre-order GODSGRAVE at the following links:

Amazon/Barnes&Noble/Indiebound/Powells/Book Depository

And remember, the cover competition runs until 31 March. Big scary hugs to everyone who’s already helped to spread the word.

Right click to embiggen the images, then save to your heart’s content.

Enjoy!

iPad (these are square to accommodate your screen orientation in both landscape and portrait format)


GODSGRAVE cover reveal!

Hello droogs!

The day has come, the hour is here! At last, I get to reveal the cover for GODSGRAVE, the second novel in the NEVERNIGHT CHRONICLE.

Like always, I’ll be giving away some booty (no, not that kind), so read on after the links!

First, the jacket copy:

A ruthless young assassin continues her journey for revenge in this new epic fantasy from New York Times bestselling author Jay Kristoff.

Assassin Mia Corvere has found her place among the Blades of Our Lady of Blessed Murder, but many in the Red Church ministry think she’s far from earned it. Plying her bloody trade in a backwater of the Republic, she’s no closer to ending Consul Scaeva and Cardinal Duomo, or avenging her familia. And after a deadly confrontation with an old enemy, Mia begins to suspect the motives of the Red Church itself.

When it’s announced that Scaeva and Duomo will be making a rare public appearance at the conclusion of the grand games in Godsgrave, Mia defies the Church and sells herself to a gladiatorial collegium for a chance to finally end them. Upon the sands of the arena, Mia finds new allies, bitter rivals, and more questions about her strange affinity for the shadows. But as conspiracies unfold within the collegium walls, and the body count rises, Mia will be forced to choose between loyalty and revenge, and uncover a secret that could change the very face of her world.

Gladiators! Betrayal! Lashings of tastefully written smut! And yes, footnotes!

Second, the loot!

This contest is open internationally. It will run until March 31.

You can win a signed copy of Nevernight (your choice of cover), along with a signed audiobook of ILLUMINAE and GEMINA, just by tweeting, insta’ing or FBing something close to the following – pretty much just include the #godsgrave hashtag and link, so I can see you doing it:

The cover from  is live! Win signed loot and make with the clickies:

Third, Jay loves pre-orders!

If you’re super keen and really, truly wuv meeee, you can pre-order GODSGRAVE from the following awesome outlets:

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

Indiebound

Powells

Book Depository

Finally, the cover!

Click the link below and behold the awesome. Huge thanks to the USA Today HEA crew for hosting the reveal, the amazing Jason Chan for his illustrative talents, and the incredible Meg Morely for her mad typographical skillz:

BEHOLD

.


GODSGRAVE Jacket Copy

title

It is official. BEHOLD!

A ruthless young assassin continues her journey for revenge in this new epic fantasy from New York Times bestselling author Jay Kristoff.

Mia Corvere has found her place among the Blades of Our Lady of Blessed Murder, but many in the Red Church hierarchy think she’s far from earned it. Plying her bloody trade in a backwater of the Republic, she’s no closer to ending the men who destroyed her familia; in fact, she’s told directly that Consul Scaeva is off limits. But after a deadly confrontation with an old enemy, Mia’s suspicions about the Red Church’s true motives begin to grow.

When it’s announced that Scaeva will be making a rare public appearance at the conclusion of the grand games in Godsgrave, Mia defies the Church and sells herself to a gladiatorial collegium for a chance to finally end the man who ended her world. Upon the sands of the arena, Mia finds new allies, bitter rivals, and more questions about her strange affinity for the shadows. But as conspiracies unfold within the collegium walls, and the body count rises, Mia will be forced to choose between love and revenge, and uncover a secret that could change the very face of her world.

Set in the world of Nevernight, which Publishers Weekly called “absorbing in its complexity and bold in its bloodiness,” Godsgrave will continue to thrill and satisfy fantasy fans everywhere.

GODSGRAVE is out September 5. You can preorder at the following links (aus links to come):

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

Indiebound

Powells

Book Depository


Awardz

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Throw a snaga on the barbie, maaaate

Droogs, excellent news: NEVERNIGHT has been nominated for the prestigious David Gemmell legend award!

This is my second nomination for the Legend, the first being for STORMDANCER. I was a huge fan of Laird Gemmell’s work when I was a wee nipper, so being nominated for an award with his name on it is a huge honor.My inner nerd is doing small, uncoordinated cartwheels as we speak.

For those who don’t know, finalists for the Legend Award get a cool as fuuuuuck mini replica of Snaga, the Axe of Deathwalker (which features in Gemmell’s Legend series). My first mini snaga is pictured above. The winner of the Legend gets a bigger version – not quite life-sized, but big enough to get you arrested in airports.

So, if you’d like to arm me with a huge replica of a demonically possessed battle axe, click the link below to vote: ‪

VOTE

Also, NEVERNIGHT has been nominated for Best Fantasy in the 2017 Aurealis Awards, and GEMINA has been nominated in Best Young Adult and Best Science Fiction at the same show. GEMINA has also been nominated for the very prestigious Leading Edge Indie Awards, and a miiiiighty fancy LOCUS award.

And last but not least, along with its other accolades, ILLUMINAE just picked up a gong at the 2016 Cybils awards. Thanks to all the organizers and wonderful judges 🙂

Thanks for all your support!