June 15, 2017

GOLDSBORO Special Edition

By Misterkristoff

Droogs!

I promised news as soon as I had it, and now I has it, Precious.

The Goldsboro Special Edition of GODSGRAVE will

  • have blue sprayed edges (matches the sun, oooooo)
  • be signed by yours truly
  • be hand numbered and STRICTLY limited

These special editions go on sale on the evening of Friday June 16 (UK time)

They are strictly limited in number, and once they’re gone, they’re gone. Goldsboro are also putting on a limit of one special edition per household.

Click here for the special edition page.

 

5 Comments | posted in Awesome, Crow, Nevernight

June 14, 2017

GODSGRAVE UK/Aus Cover

By Misterkristoff

 

UK and Aus Droogs!

You wonderful peeps have been very patient, and lo, that patience is about to be rewarded. At long last, thanks to amazing talents of Mr Kerby Rosanes and the amazing design crew at Harper Voyager UK/Aus, I get to reveal the UK/Aus GODSGRAVE COVER.

I’m not exactly sure what I did to make the cover gods love me so much. Maybe I saved a screaming bus-load of their demigod children in a past life or something. But holy shit, this thing is awesome 😀

GODSGRAVE is now available for preorder from the following amazing stores:

UK

Waterstones
Book Depository
Amazon

Aus

Booktopia
Dymocks
Book Depository
Galaxy Bookshop
Readings (soon)
Amazon

Full version of cover (with flaps and back copy) coming soon.

Un-animated version below.

Details about the Waterstones and Goldsboro special editions are coming soon, I promise. I know the wait is literally killing some of you, thank you for your patience!

7 Comments | posted in Awesome, Crow

May 31, 2017

OBSIDIO Casualty List – EXTENSION

By Misterkristoff

THIS CONTEST IS OPEN INTERNATIONALLY.

Droogs!

Due to popular demand and some outcry about inability to purchase through preferred retailers the first time, we are extending the OBSIDIO death contest for 2 more weeks. This is seriously it. No more extensions. You miss out this time, on thy head be it!

So, if you would like the chance to suffer a particularly painful death in the cold belly of space, read on. And I seriously mean read. YES, THE WHOLE THING INCLUDING THE FAQ.

REPEAT: THIS CONTEST IS OPEN TO EVERYONE. BRITONS. AUSTRALIANS. AMERICANS. MARTIANS. WE GIVE NO TOSSES ABOUT WHERE YOU ARE FROM.

Things you must do to win this contest:

  1. Pre-order a copy of OBSIDIO. It does not matter where you do this. Online. Local bookstore. Seedy back alley. Wherever.USA
    Barnes and Noble
    Amazon
    Book Depository
    Indibound
    Powells

    UK
    Amazon
    Waterstones

    Australia
    Booktopia
    Dymocks

  2. Send proof of purchase (scan, photograph) to: theilluminaefiles@gmail.com.The next step is VERY IMPORTANT
  3. Along with your proof of purchase you must provide:
    a) Your name. Not a twitter handle. Not a cute nickname. Not a forum avi.
    First name.
    Surname.
    Done.
    b) You must also include the following declaration within the body of your email:

My name is [insert your name here]. I confirm I am freely agreeing to the use of my name in the series The Illuminae Files. This permission is for all rights and uses, in perpetuity, and I agree I will receive no compensation for the use of my name. I agree the authors and publishers are not obligated to make any corrections or changes to my name in reprints.

The really, really important bit:

YOU MUST DO THIS BY NOON, PACIFIC STANDARD TIME, June 14, 2017.

That gives you two more weeks to save up, rob a liquor store or concoct a complicated confidence scheme in order to get the cash for the pre-order.

We’re kidding. Don’t rob anyone. Ask for it as a birthday present or something, I dunno.

FAQ

Q: Does it matter where I pre-order from?
Nope. Just mail the proof to theilluminaefiles@gmail.com

Q: What if I order from [random store name]?
Honestly, it doesn’t matter. Just mail the proof.

Q: Will there be a third competition window?
No, this is it, the design is being locked, this is seriously 100% your Very Last Chance. We’ve found a window because some of you couldn’t buy from your bookseller of choice last time, but this is it.

Q: If I’m buying from my local indie, what kind of proof can they give me if a receipt’s not possible.
We trust you and them, so whatever your creativity can conjure up will do. A handwritten note is fine. A selfie with a bookseller who’s looking pleased you just gave them money to preorder a book will do. Whatever you got.

Q: Will everyone who enters get in?
We’ve had a ton of entries already (thank you!) so there’s not room for all of you, but there’ll be a lot, and we’re going to make sure as many of you as possible show up.

Q When will we find out if we made the cut?
A When you open your copy of Obsidio — we won’t be announcing names in advance.

HOT DAMN, CHUMS, IT’S THE BONUS ROUND

As an added incentive, if you spread the word about this contest, you go into the running to win loot. Just tweet or FB the following:

The #OBSIDIO casualty list competition has been extended 2 weeks! THIS CONTEST IS OPEN INTERNATIONALLY:

jaykristoff.com

You can also include this dandy graphic if you feel the need:

By doing so, you go into the running to win a signed copies of the ILLUMINAE and GEMINA audiobooks. Behold:

5 Comments | posted in Illuminae, Offers!, Randomness

May 10, 2017

LIFEL1K3 pitch

By Misterkristoff

Hello writer droogs,

I often get asked if things get easier once you’re published, and if selling one book makes it easier to sell the next. Truth is, the answer is “yes and no”. Authors still need to pitch their next book to their publisher and hope that it sells, and unless their first name is “Stephen” and their last name is “King”, there’s a chance it won’t.

This means you need to pimp your book, just like you did when you were first trying to find an agent. It usually means writing some kind of pitch or synopsis. So for those of you in query letter hell right now, here’s the pitch I wrote to sell LIFEL1K3 to Random House:

On a floating junkyard beneath a radiation sky, a deadly secret lies buried in the scrap.

Seventeen-year-old Eve isn’t looking for secrets—she’s too busy looking over her shoulder. The robot gladiator she’s just spent six months building has been reduced to a smoking wreck, and the only thing keeping her Grandpa from the grave was the fistful of credits she just lost to the bookies. To top it off, she’s discovered she can destroy electronics with the power of her mind, and the puritanical Brotherhood are building a coffin her size. If she’s ever had a worse day, Eve can’t remember it.

Problem is, she has had a worse day—one that lingers in her nightmares and the cybernetic implant where her memories used to be. Her discovery of a ruined android in the scrap pile she calls home will bring her world crashing down, and have her questioning whether her entire life is a lie. With her best friend Lemon Fresh and her robotic conscience, Cricket, in tow, she’ll trek across deserts of irradiated glass, infiltrate towering megacities and scour the graveyard of humanity’s greatest folly to save the ones she loves, and learn the dark secrets of her past.

Even if those secrets were better off staying buried.

LIFEL1K3 is an 90,000 word YA post-apocalypse cyberpunk adventure. It’s Romeo and Juliet meets Mad Max meets X-Men, with a little bit of Bladerunner cheering from the sidelines.

Pretty much the same thing as a query letter, right? Never fear that those querying skillz you’re developing now will go to waste. You’re gonna be using them your whole career. 🙂

Keep writing.

6 Comments | posted in Randomness

April 20, 2017

GODSGRAVE B&N special edition

By Misterkristoff

Hello droogs,

Exciting news! I have all the details about our special edition of GODSGRAVE, which will be available only through the fantabulous folks at Barnes and Noble.

This object of purest beauty will include:

  • Full color endpapers, featuring exclusive artwork by my amazing US cover artist, Jason Chan.
  • An exclusive chapter – this was the original first chapter of GODSGRAVE, but over the course of writing the novel, I found it didn’t fit anymore so I had to cut it. This was a true case of killing your darlings, so I’m chuffed you guys will actually get to read it.
  • Plus, EVERY copy will be signed by yours truly.

The B&N special edition of GODSGRAVE is also currently 33% off. Zounds!

You can pre-order the awesome here.

I’m so proud of this books, folks. Can’t wait for you to read it 😀

 

 

6 Comments | posted in Randomness

April 11, 2017

OBSIDIO Casualty List Contest

By Misterkristoff

THIS CONTEST IS OPEN INTERNATIONALLY.

Droogs!

The time has come! The title is here! The hour of your death is nigh!

As ILLUMINAE FILES fans will know, we ran a competition last year, giving readers the opportunity to get their names listed among the dead in GEMINA. Well, we’re doing it again with OBSIDIO! Hurrah for murder! What in god’s name is wrong with you people?

In fact, we’re running the biggest deathlist competition the series has ever seen! So now you, your family members, your pets (I’m joking, we’re not killing your pets) have the opportunity to be horribly slaughtered in final book of the series.

So, if you would like the chance to suffer a particularly painful death in the cold belly of space, read on.

REPEAT: THIS CONTEST IS OPEN TO EVERYONE. BRITONS. AUSTRALIANS. AMERICANS. MARTIANS. WE GIVE NO TOSSES ABOUT WHERE YOU ARE FROM.

Things you must do to win this contest:

  1. Pre-order a copy of OBSIDIO. It does not matter where you do this. Online. Local bookstore. Seedy back alley. Yes, we’re aware some sites don’t have pre-order buttons up yet, just be patient. 🙂 

    USA
    Barnes and Noble
    Amazon  [yes we know the HB isn’t up there yet 😦 ]
    Book Depository
    Indibound
    Powells

    UK
    Amazon
    Waterstones 

    Australia
    Booktopia
    Dymocks
    Readings

  2. Send proof of purchase (scan, photograph) to: theilluminaefiles@gmail.com.The next step is VERY IMPORTANT
  3. Along with your proof of purchase you must provide:
    a) Your name. Not a twitter handle. Not a cute nickname. Not a forum avi.
    First name.
    Surname.
    Done.
    b) You must also include the following declaration within the body of your email:

My name is [insert your name here]. I confirm I am freely agreeing to the use of my name in the series The Illuminae Files. This permission is for all rights and uses, in perpetuity, and I agree I will receive no compensation for the use of my name. I agree the authors and publishers are not obligated to make any corrections or changes to my name in reprints.

The really, really important bit:

YOU MUST DO THIS BY NOON, PACIFIC STANDARD TIME, MAY 1, 2017.

That gives you three weeks to save up, rob a liquor store or concoct a complicated confidence scheme in order to get the cash for the pre-order.

We’re kidding. Don’t rob anyone. Ask for it as a birthday present or something, I dunno.

HOT DAMN, CHUMS, IT’S THE BONUS ROUND

As an added incentive, if you spread the word about this contest, you go into the running to win loot. Just tweet or FB the following:

Want to get your name on the #OBSIDIO casualty list? Make with the clickies. THIS CONTEST IS OPEN INTERNATIONALLY:

jaykristoff.com

You can also include this dandy graphic if you feel the need:

By doing so, you go into the running to win a signed copies of the ILLUMINAE and GEMINA audiobooks. Behold:

Yes, they’ll be signed. Relax.

That’s it! Thanks in advance to all you beautiful people who spread the word!

J&A

17 Comments | posted in Giveaway, Illuminae, Randomness

March 25, 2017

GODSGRAVE desktops

By Misterkristoff

Hello Droogs,

Like always, I’m putting out some GODSGRAVE desktop images in case you folks wanted to decorate your phones or tablets with the sheer badassery that is this cover. I’m also including the original Jason Chan artwork without Meg Morely’s 100% metal typography, just in case your life is 100% metal already.

You can pre-order GODSGRAVE at the following links:

Amazon/Barnes&Noble/Indiebound/Powells/Book Depository

And remember, the cover competition runs until 31 March. Big scary hugs to everyone who’s already helped to spread the word.

Right click to embiggen the images, then save to your heart’s content.

Enjoy!

iPad (these are square to accommodate your screen orientation in both landscape and portrait format)

3 Comments | posted in Randomness