Monthly Archives: May 2017

OBSIDIO Casualty List – EXTENSION

THIS CONTEST IS OPEN INTERNATIONALLY.

Droogs!

Due to popular demand and some outcry about inability to purchase through preferred retailers the first time, we are extending the OBSIDIO death contest for 2 more weeks. This is seriously it. No more extensions. You miss out this time, on thy head be it!

So, if you would like the chance to suffer a particularly painful death in the cold belly of space, read on. And I seriously mean read. YES, THE WHOLE THING INCLUDING THE FAQ.

REPEAT: THIS CONTEST IS OPEN TO EVERYONE. BRITONS. AUSTRALIANS. AMERICANS. MARTIANS. WE GIVE NO TOSSES ABOUT WHERE YOU ARE FROM.

Things you must do to win this contest:

  1. Pre-order a copy of OBSIDIO. It does not matter where you do this. Online. Local bookstore. Seedy back alley. Wherever.USA
    Barnes and Noble
    Amazon
    Book Depository
    Indibound
    Powells

    UK
    Amazon
    Waterstones

    Australia
    Booktopia
    Dymocks

  2. Send proof of purchase (scan, photograph) to: theilluminaefiles@gmail.com.The next step is VERY IMPORTANT
  3. Along with your proof of purchase you must provide:
    a) Your name. Not a twitter handle. Not a cute nickname. Not a forum avi.
    First name.
    Surname.
    Done.
    b) You must also include the following declaration within the body of your email:

My name is [insert your name here]. I confirm I am freely agreeing to the use of my name in the series The Illuminae Files. This permission is for all rights and uses, in perpetuity, and I agree I will receive no compensation for the use of my name. I agree the authors and publishers are not obligated to make any corrections or changes to my name in reprints.

The really, really important bit:

YOU MUST DO THIS BY NOON, PACIFIC STANDARD TIME, June 14, 2017.

That gives you two more weeks to save up, rob a liquor store or concoct a complicated confidence scheme in order to get the cash for the pre-order.

We’re kidding. Don’t rob anyone. Ask for it as a birthday present or something, I dunno.

FAQ

Q: Does it matter where I pre-order from?
Nope. Just mail the proof to theilluminaefiles@gmail.com

Q: What if I order from [random store name]?
Honestly, it doesn’t matter. Just mail the proof.

Q: Will there be a third competition window?
No, this is it, the design is being locked, this is seriously 100% your Very Last Chance. We’ve found a window because some of you couldn’t buy from your bookseller of choice last time, but this is it.

Q: If I’m buying from my local indie, what kind of proof can they give me if a receipt’s not possible.
We trust you and them, so whatever your creativity can conjure up will do. A handwritten note is fine. A selfie with a bookseller who’s looking pleased you just gave them money to preorder a book will do. Whatever you got.

Q: Will everyone who enters get in?
We’ve had a ton of entries already (thank you!) so there’s not room for all of you, but there’ll be a lot, and we’re going to make sure as many of you as possible show up.

Q When will we find out if we made the cut?
A When you open your copy of Obsidio — we won’t be announcing names in advance.

HOT DAMN, CHUMS, IT’S THE BONUS ROUND

As an added incentive, if you spread the word about this contest, you go into the running to win loot. Just tweet or FB the following:

The #OBSIDIO casualty list competition has been extended 2 weeks! THIS CONTEST IS OPEN INTERNATIONALLY:

jaykristoff.com

You can also include this dandy graphic if you feel the need:

By doing so, you go into the running to win a signed copies of the ILLUMINAE and GEMINA audiobooks. Behold:

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LIFEL1K3 pitch

Hello writer droogs,

I often get asked if things get easier once you’re published, and if selling one book makes it easier to sell the next. Truth is, the answer is “yes and no”. Authors still need to pitch their next book to their publisher and hope that it sells, and unless their first name is “Stephen” and their last name is “King”, there’s a chance it won’t.

This means you need to pimp your book, just like you did when you were first trying to find an agent. It usually means writing some kind of pitch or synopsis. So for those of you in query letter hell right now, here’s the pitch I wrote to sell LIFEL1K3 to Random House:

On a floating junkyard beneath a radiation sky, a deadly secret lies buried in the scrap.

Seventeen-year-old Eve isn’t looking for secrets—she’s too busy looking over her shoulder. The robot gladiator she’s just spent six months building has been reduced to a smoking wreck, and the only thing keeping her Grandpa from the grave was the fistful of credits she just lost to the bookies. To top it off, she’s discovered she can destroy electronics with the power of her mind, and the puritanical Brotherhood are building a coffin her size. If she’s ever had a worse day, Eve can’t remember it.

Problem is, she has had a worse day—one that lingers in her nightmares and the cybernetic implant where her memories used to be. Her discovery of a ruined android in the scrap pile she calls home will bring her world crashing down, and have her questioning whether her entire life is a lie. With her best friend Lemon Fresh and her robotic conscience, Cricket, in tow, she’ll trek across deserts of irradiated glass, infiltrate towering megacities and scour the graveyard of humanity’s greatest folly to save the ones she loves, and learn the dark secrets of her past.

Even if those secrets were better off staying buried.

LIFEL1K3 is an 90,000 word YA post-apocalypse cyberpunk adventure. It’s Romeo and Juliet meets Mad Max meets X-Men, with a little bit of Bladerunner cheering from the sidelines.

Pretty much the same thing as a query letter, right? Never fear that those querying skillz you’re developing now will go to waste. You’re gonna be using them your whole career. 🙂

Keep writing.