There can be only one

My author portrait is done (you can find the least offensive of the session in the “about Jay” page), and thanks to the extraordinary talents of Mr Christopher Tovo I don’t look like a shaved chimp in a Karnivool T-Shirt. No small task considering the subject matter, but hell, if Sir Tovo can make Chopper Read look presentable, he can do pretty much anything.
Now, if I had a dollar for every time someone asked if I was the lead singer of the Foo Fighters, I’d probably be driving a Ferrari have close to a neat hundo by now. Admittedly, in a darkened room, with a six pack of alcopops in you, you might be fooled into thinking I was a world-famous musician and be tempted to ask me to autograph your cleavage, but THIS WILL ONLY END IN TEARS.
True story – I actually had a guy hovering around the photo session with Chris, and when he caught my eye, this fellow mouthed the words “Dave Grohl?” with a hopeful expression on his little face, and looked like I’d kicked his dog when I shook my head. (I offered to sign his cleavage anyway).
So to the hells with it. This I vow: Next time someone asks me if I’m the Grohlster, I’m going to adopt my best yankee accent and say “Yeah, man”. See where it gets me. Free drinks hopefully. Autographing some girl’s lovelies? Maybe not so much…
Postscript: I just got off the phone with my dad (he’s got a new iPhone and has just discovered my blog). Here’s an excerpt from our conversation:
Dad: “I like those new photos you put up. Which one are you going to use?”
Jay: “What do you mean?”
Dad: “The two photos you put up.”
Jay: “You mean the black and white ones I just posted?”
Dad: “Yeah. The one on the right is better. Use that one.”

33 Responses to “There can be only one”

  1. Sadhbh says:

    If it helps, he’s a bit shorter that you?
    Also, interestingly, he was asked in one interview what he would like to be able to do if he wasn’t a musician, and he said that he would like to be a writer (like his dad) but he’s useless at it. So does that mean Dave secretly wants to be you?

    • Maybe we could swap lives, like in that Disney flick. I’ll tour the world neck deep in groupies and he can come live in Fitzroy and sit alone in the loungeroom with my dog on his lap trying to write my sequel. And then he realizes that his old life was really sweet and comes backstage and says “Dude, I want to swap back”. And I’m all like “SECURITY BREAK THIS CRAZY FUCKER’S LEGS.”

  2. Manon Eileen says:

    The resemblance is uncanny O_o
    Love the new pics, very nice! And arty, and stuff!

  3. Sam says:

    I told you to take the free beers on the chin last we met. Remember…it is not for you that you dink free beers…but for the joy in the hearts of those you allow to deceive themselves. Joy, though false, is joy nonetheless.
    That and I want free beers.

    • Thing is, I know FA about the Foo Fighters. As soon as someone asks me to hum a few bars, the jig is up. Then they might reclaim their beers, which will be problematic if I’ve already drunk them.

  4. Dude, you should really be milking this resemblance thing. 😛
    Oh, and fathers know best, apparently. Love that conversation. You can’t make that stuff up.

  5. Lindsay says:

    I mean, to be fair, the identical facial hair is entirely your own fault…

    • I will have you know I grew this facial hair when Mr Grohl was still clean shaven. The bastard ripped me off. It’s that simple.
      Just you watch, in November he’ll announce that he wrote a book set in Steampunk China called “Clouddancer” or something…

  6. Judd says:

    I DID have to look twice to make sure that was you on the rig… IMEANLEFT. But I’ve only met you in person that one time back in High School when you and Kurt and Novaselic were on tour through Denver.

  7. mimetic74 says:

    if it’s any consolation rocket just asked who’s that guy next to uncle jay. mr kristoff sr in high-larious!

  8. Noo says:

    You do realise that half of your genetic make up is from dad. Mirror mirror on the wall….

  9. Wow, that is uncanny. Though I would say there is a little of Neil Gaiman about you around the eyes… so at least there’s some literary-ness in your doppelgänger-ness… Yeah.

  10. Disco Stu says:

    Gotta say, I never saw any connection until you put those photos side by side. Maybe as a fellow tall guy with (occasional) facial hair I’m naturally more attuned to the individual variations of goatees 🙂

  11. Amanda says:

    Sorry but I seriously had to look twice! Maybe you shouldn’t have moved and people you know would be able to recognise you! Next time I see that Dave guy i’m definitely asking him if he’s Jay Kristoff.

  12. alaielkreuz says:

    First things first: Would you autograph my cleavage? I promise I won’t post a photo on FB saying is from that singer you “love” so much.
    Second: Yikes! I’m not sure if I would like to look like a famous girl but I’m sure that, at least once, I would say I’m her and enjoy the moment xD Who knows? Free stuff, some love and craziness might be a good idea 😉
    And third: I’m with your dad, the photo on the right is way better, your features are more highlighted and… Wait a second, wrong photo!

    • Sure, I’ll sign anyone’s cleavage. I just can’t guarantee it won’t end badly for all concerned 🙂
      One day, I’ll just nod and smile and wink. See what happens. (probably end badly, as above)

  13. Chris Moore says:

    I am SO thoroughly confused, this page looks like it’s tilted to the left. Mr. Kristoff, can you explain please with minimal sarcasm? Just assume I was born yesterday and go from there…

  14. marnij says:

    I laughed out loud at your dad’s response!

  15. damaia says:

    *fashionably late to the party*
    True story: My late grandfather and a buddy of his once cheerfully impersonated retired members of the Green Bay Packers football team in order to get free food and drinks at a Packers-themed bar in Mexico. They signed memorabilia, took photos with local fans, the works. (My grandfather’s sole claim to sports glory was being a high school basketball player.)

  16. […] I just tried to prove to my mum that Jay Kristoff is not, in fact, Dave Grohl.  […]

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