Moar Loots


If you’re just here to win the free Rothfuss books and don’t care about anything else, head to the bottom of the post. I’m not crying, honestly. I just have something in my eye.

For the uninitiated:

So my debut novel is coming out in… 23 days. 18 days if you live in the UK. If you live in Australia, you lucky dog, you can apparently head to a store and buy it right now.

Its name is STORMDANCER. Some professional book reviewer type people are of the belief it doesn’t suck, and have been busy telling everyone else it doesn’t suck. Which is truly awesome.

Strangely, I found a couple of authors who thought it didn’t suck either, and actually liked it enough to blurb it for me (a blurb is essentially an author being officially quoted about the lack of suck in another author’s book). Which is even more awesome. Like, weapons-grade awesome. Shot a man in Reno just to watch him die awesome.

Wait, that’s not awesome. Poor Reno guy…

Anyway, one of these deluded author types was Patrick Rothfuss, author of the NYT bestselling Kingkiller Chronicles. Sometime last year, Pat was nice enough to send me some signed loots to give away close to my launch – the logic being if you like Pat’s stuff, you might find yourself intrigued about a book he thought didn’t suck enough to be quoted on the cover as having said “THIS BOOK DOES NOT SUCK”.

Or something. Anyways, the free shit…

So, I’m giving away signed hardback copies of THE NAME OF THE WIND and THE WISE MAN’S FEAR. Not only are these puppies signed, they also contain 100% bonafide spoilers about book 3 of the Kingkiller Chronicles, scrawled in Pat’s own bardic script right next to his signature. Yes, you read that right. May the Flying Spaghetti Monster strike me dead of screaming syphilis if I speak a lie. SPOILERS.

What do you have to do to win this jizztasmagoric smorgasbord of pure nerdgasm?

It’s real easy. Some authors make you subscribe to FB pages or twitter feeds or blogs or name your first kid Kristoff (great name for a super villain – jus’ sayin’) and fuck all that noise. You’re either going to like the sound of my book, or you won’t. If you like the sound of it, maybe you’ll sub to my FB page or twitter or whatever. That’s all grand, thank you very much, buttons are up on the top right. If you’re just here for the free Rothfuss and STFU Jay, just tell us how to win, that’s all good too.

SO, to win, all you have to do is Tweet or FB about the giveaway.

Yes. To be in with a chance to win, you have to lessen your chances of actually winning by telling other people about the competition. That Kristoff, eh? What a fucking jerk.

If you tweet, make sure you tag it with the #stormdancer hashtag so I know you did it. Eg:

Author of #stormdancer, @misterkristoff is giving away signed copies of @Pat_Rothfuss’ KINGKILLER CHRONICLES here:

Or something along those lines. Maybe something with a bit more oomph. I dunno, I’m not a writer, jesus…

…oh, wait…

If you FB about it, make sure you tag my FB page so I know you did it (you’ll have to Like the page to do so, this is FB’s rule not mine and it sucks, sorry. If the thought of being manipulated into Liking a page makes you want to stomp on babies, you can Unlike my page right after. Please don’t stomp any babies).

That’s it. Go forth and tweet. Or whatever. The winner will be drawn on Monday September 3rd. The winner will be chosen by the Random Number Generator Gods, so you may wish to butcher something small and fluffy in their names. The giveaway IS international.

No bribes accepted. Although if you promise to name your first kid Kristoff maybe we can work something out…


About Misterkristoff

New York Times and Internationally Bestselling SciFi/Fantasy author, and master of drunken karaoke-fu. View all posts by Misterkristoff

59 responses to “Moar Loots

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