Two Minutes Hate: Trailer trailers

Dear Hollywood,

I like movie trailers. Even though you over-enthusiastic prats have a terrible habit of showing me all the funniest/coolest/sexahhhh-ist bits in your previews and completely spoiling me for the actual film, I appreciate the effort you take in showing how truly excremental the latest Jennifer Anniston RomCom is, or allowing me to make a rational and informed decision about where to place “See Mirror, Mirror” on my “Things I want to do this June” list. (right after “Develop colon cancer” atm)

But the “trailer for the trailer” bullshit has to stop. Seriously.

I don’t give a shit how good the movie is. I don’t care if you shot two solid hours of Kate Beckinsale making out with Liv Tyler in the back the Millennium Falcon, piloted by the ghost of Bill Hicks, scored with a heretofore unreleased 120 minute version James Brown’s ‘Sex machine’ (tell me you would not watch the FUCK out of that movie) – I don’t need to see a sneak preview of the mother fucking PREVIEW.

What’s next? A trailer of the trailer of the trailer? The sneak preview of the preview’s preview’s preview? Where does it end, a sane man might ask? And I’ll tell him where. It ends with me preferring to punch myself so hard in the fucking brain it kills my unborn grandchildren that see your goddamn movie.


The Two Minutes Hate is a semi-regular feature on this blog, where I basically rant like a pantsless hobo about something that irks me. Feel free to ignore me. I probably just need hugs.


About Misterkristoff

New York Times and Internationally Bestselling SciFi/Fantasy author, and master of drunken karaoke-fu. View all posts by Misterkristoff

6 responses to “Two Minutes Hate: Trailer trailers

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