Dear China Glaze Marketing Dept,
I understand that with no real point of difference to your product, you need to find ways to differentiate yourselves from the million other companies out there who
make young women feel insecure about the way they look Make With The Pretty. And tying in with a movie franchise, yeah, I can see a strategy like that selling some weight for you. But that sound you heard when the world awoke yesterday to news of your official Hunger Games nail polish? It was the sound of a million eyebrows racing each other towards their owner’s hairlines. The thunder of a million jaws dropping. The mingled harmonics of million simultaneous “WTF’s”.
First up – you called your collection ‘Colors from the Capitol’. I understand you probably haven’t read the books and all, but in the HG paradigm, the people who live in the Capitol are the FUCKING BAD GUYS. A morally bankrupt, decadent elite so numbed to the suffering of their fellows they consider it entertaining to drop 24 kids into an arena and watch them slaughter each other on live TV. This is akin to launching a range of Wehrmacht-inspired apparel to coincide with the release of Schindler’s List. What. The. Fuck.
Second – the scenes in Capitol where Katniss is being glammed up for the sake of the drooly-faced audience? It’s a figurative and literal exercise in objectification. Katniss isn’t made to look fierce. She isn’t made to look competent. She’s made to look pretty. It’s a damning indictment from the author about class and gender stereotypes, and it’s meant to make us feel bad that Katniss is reduced to a sparkly meat-puppet for the sake of winning a chance at sponsors (and therefore, increasing her chances of survival).
Anyone who’s read the books knows this. Anyone who hasn’t read the books and buys your pretty finger paint and then reads the books will feel like a sucker. You want to do some good? Release an official Hunger Games bow and arrow set, and hold classes about how girls don’t need to paint their fingers pretty to be taken seriously.
I know you need to make money and shit, but for the love of god, you folks could Miss The Point for your country at an Olympic fucking level.
The Two Minutes Hate is a semi-regular feature on this blog, where I basically rant like a pantsless hobo about something that irks me mightily. Previous outbursts can be found by selecting ‘Two Minutes Hate’ in the Select Category drop down menu in the right hand column.