There can be only one

My author portrait is done (you can find the least offensive of the session in the “about Jay” page), and thanks to the extraordinary talents of Mr Christopher Tovo I don’t look like a shaved chimp in a Karnivool T-Shirt. No small task considering the subject matter, but hell, if Sir Tovo can make Chopper Read look presentable, he can do pretty much anything.

Now, if I had a dollar for every time someone asked if I was the lead singer of the Foo Fighters, I’d probably be driving a Ferrari have close to a neat hundo by now. Admittedly, in a darkened room, with a six pack of alcopops in you, you might be fooled into thinking I was a world-famous musician and be tempted to ask me to autograph your cleavage, but THIS WILL ONLY END IN TEARS.

True story – I actually had a guy hovering around the photo session with Chris, and when he caught my eye, this fellow mouthed the words “Dave Grohl?” with a hopeful expression on his little face, and looked like I’d kicked his dog when I shook my head. (I offered to sign his cleavage anyway).

Soย to the hells withย it. This I vow: Next time someone asks me if I’m the Grohlster, I’m going to adopt my best yankee accent and say “Yeah, man”. See where it gets me. Free drinks hopefully. Autographing some girl’s lovelies? Maybe not so much…

Postscript: I just got off the phone with my dad (he’s got a new iPhone and has just discovered my blog). Here’s an excerpt from our conversation:

Dad: “I like those new photos you put up. Which one are you going to use?”
Jay: “What do you mean?”
Dad: “The two photos you put up.”
Jay: “You mean the black and white ones I just posted?”
Dad: “Yeah. The one on the right is better. Use that one.”

NO, I AM NOT JOKING.

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About Misterkristoff

New York Times and Internationally Bestselling SciFi/Fantasy author, and master of drunken karaoke-fu. View all posts by Misterkristoff

32 responses to “There can be only one

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