Dear Jeans Manufacturers,
What’s the deal with “drop-crotch” jeans? What appeal can be found in having a foot-deep crotch and legs thinner than the plot of a Michael Bay movie? Just because my gusset is big enough to park a smegging Volvo inside, doesn’t mean a member of the fairer sex will be fooled into taking a peek. I tried that shit on my wife and it doesn’t work.
Are you trying to come up with a fashion trend more ridiculous than one-piece bellbottom jumpsuits? Or is it that you just enjoy making me look like a deadshit when I try to run?