Two Minutes Hate: Dropcrotch jeans

Dear Jeans Manufacturers,

What’s the deal with “drop-crotch” jeans?  What appeal can be found in having a foot-deep crotch and legs thinner than the plot of a Michael Bay movie? Just because my gusset is big enough to park a smegging Volvo inside, doesn’t mean a member of the fairer sex will be fooled into taking a peek. I tried that shit on my wife and it doesn’t work.

Are you trying to come up with a fashion trend more ridiculous than one-piece bellbottom jumpsuits? Or is it that you just enjoy making me look like a deadshit when I try to run?

STOP IT.

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About Misterkristoff

New York Times and Internationally Bestselling SciFi/Fantasy author, and master of drunken karaoke-fu. View all posts by Misterkristoff

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