I can still remember the nut-punch of my first form rejection, the high of my first partial request. I remember sitting at my keyboard trying to write a query letter on COLD and not having the first clue how to begin. I remember feeling stupid, that all this was a waste of time, just an absurd little dream. I remember the first time I wrote something that made the hairs on my arms stand up, and feeling like I could actually do this. It’s been a trip. Not at the end yet by a long shot, but the first leg is done.
All of the agents who made offers (and others who were about to before I pulled the rug out) were amazing, dedicated and wonderful people. I actually felt quite bad letting them down. You’d think after nearly a year of constant rejection, a bastard like me might get some satisfaction in doing some rejecting of my own. Instead I felt like a complete prick. But still, time to get over it.
Now, bring on the revisions!